Day 2:
Some notes before I go on with the rest of my rambling.
- I realize my writing on this blog sucks; I’ll try to do a better job.
- I have also noticed that my posts are quite lengthy, so I’ll try to shorten them to please my uncle and my old English teacher who both stress “concise, clear, and to the point writing.
- I forgot to mention my feat against the heat here. It’s insane, must I say more? I exited the airport and struggled to breathe (the same thing happened this morning). I don’t think I’ve stopped sweating this whole time yet and I can’t bring myself to do anything because of this damned heat.
And back to my story…
So today I woke up fairly early, around 5 a.m. I think. I got up had a pleasant conversation with my mom (I really valued this because very few of our conversations don’t involve yelling or some kind of arguing). I then woke my cousin and gave him the iPod we had bought for him; I was even kind enough to transfer songs into it for him. After that we had breakfast. It was pretty good I’d say. The meal consisted of fried fish and eggplant topped with soy sauce with a little bit of kalamansi (lime type fruit). Yum! After breakfast, mama and I took our showers and called for my mom’s cousin who owns the jeep we usually borrow. With my uncle, my cousin, and my mom we set out for the city on a mission to buy a matress. The journey itself was…well let’s call it a journey. I hopped on to the jeep fresh and clean, but when I got off my hair was a mess, there was a nice layer of black soot on my face, and my shirt was drenched in sweat. I think we were all relieved to step into the strongly air-conditioned mall. I immediately picked out a mattress and asked my mom if we could have lunch at Chow King (nothing fancy, just another restaurant chain).
*Note: Even when I try not to look conspicuous people here always stare me down. I’m not sure if I should be flattered or disturbed.
Soon after we loaded the mattress into our jeep and got back on the road. This time our destination was a new house ware store. By this point, I was in no mood to go anywhere else but my room where I could lie down in front of the fan. Fortunately, I found a Starbucks to satisfy my stomach at least. Unfortunately, they couldn’t serve my usually drink, the marble mocha macchiato. Oh well, I made do with a caramel macchiato (not as tasty, but good enough). We looked around at the new store, saw a couple nice things, but didn’t buy anything.
When I got home, things just plummeted. My mom sat me down in my room and we had a little chat about that unexpected visitor of mine yesterday. I assured her nothing was going wrong and she warned me in return. Seriously? If my parents really knew me, like really knew their daughter they would know that they don’t need to say these things to me. I have honestly never done anything as bad as what some people I know have done. I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, I don’t sneak out, I don’t lie about my activities, and I don’t do things I know my parents would freak out about. No, I don’t do any of those things. Instead, I take good care of myself, I tell them where I always am, I never fail to let them know who I’m with and what I’m doing, I stay on top of things, and I’m doing better than good at school (note: all without their urging). Anyways, I wasn’t as pissed that this gossip was having such a big effect as much as I was upset that my mom even had to talk to me. After that I stared at the ceiling for about half an hour before I decided to get up and join the rest of the people singing karaoke nearby. Just my luck, it had turned into an “inuman” or a full-on drinking party. I sang one song and decided to flee. I strained to think of something to keep myself busy and remembered that I had brought my softball glove and some balls with me. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a single person to play catch with. My mom tried it out for five minutes…I relieved her of her service due to incompetency. Not a second too late, April came along. Too bad she wasn’t any better. Then I asked if I could go to the basket ball court and watch the games there, mom’s answer: no. I asked if I could invite people I knew over to play ball with me, mom’s answer: no. Finally I asked if I could just fly back to the U.S. instead of being cooped up alone and not allowed to do anything. Same answer.
I stormed off to my room, locked myself up, sat on my bed, and called home. A few minutes later my dad called. Thank goodness. Usually, he’s the vain of my existence, but a few hours ago he played the role of my best friend. I spent the first five minutes of the conversation crying, heaving, and telling him about why I was feeling the way I was. I was surprised that he was actually able to sit quietly and listen to me. Even if all he could say was “stay strong”, “make the most of it”, “use your head”, and “I’ll be there soon” I was comforted by his simple voice. I’m just so sick and tired of either hearing everyone’s bickering or complete and utter silence here, that a familiar voice is able to do the trick.
So that’s how the first two days have basically gone. I’m completely miserable here. I predict that by the end of this week, I would have finished all my summer reading and would have gone through the entire seven hundred paged SAT prep book. I shall pray to God tonight for strength to keep my hopes up, to keep myself sane, and to keep myself from hanging myself from that annoying coconut tree outside my bedroom window (it blocks my perfect view of the mountains).
Maybe, this is the time for me to finally take up a religion and place everything on some figure?
Uh, no. I’ll try some yoga (that’s what mommy would say).
As for now, I’m going to make use of this neighbor’s wi-fi and distract myself from all the horrors of life here. I just realized that I have been shipped halfway around the world to do things I could do just as well at home, but with a number of privileges stripped as well. I guess it’s time for some good old visualization, breathing, and counting of my blessings. I’m also probably going to shut down and stop talking to people for a bit.
If someone does get to the end of this long (fine, extremely long) post of mine:
I miss home and I miss you (yes, you) so much. You have no idea…
